Frequently Asked Questions

Q: I just wrote a great vampire (or zombie) romance novel, will you...
A: STOP. No. You haven't been paying attention.

Q: What do you guys do? Are you a publisher?
A: That's two questions. But I like your style.

OK. First question, we're assuming you mean what does Criticol do? Here's our "process":

1. We accept a finished fiction manuscript (we're not interested in non-fiction, which requires fact checking and peer review, etc., and that sounds like work to us, boring!).
   
   
2. We thank the writer for sending it to us, and give them an idea of our schedule and when we might have pre-editorial staff available to get to it. It’s mostly FIFO, but if the manuscript looks cool, it might jump the queue. Fantastic stuff goes straight to the top. We’re fickle.
   
   
3. We read it until we fall down laughing or fall asleep, or we actually finish it. We're hoping "finish it" 'cause that means it's fantastic.
   
   
4. We assess it for publication and develop a publishing proposal and present it to the writer, who loves it! If the writer is a PITA, we just skip to the next book and get back to them when we feel like it. Like a week after next never. Just being honest here.
   
   
5. We then edit the work. We are criticol about editing and reviewing though. If the book sucks, we say so. We might try to help with their next effort, while still completely giving up on this one – because, after all, it sucked.
   
   
6. If it only sucks a little, we’ll make suggestions and work with the writer to make it the best it can be, without taking away the writers creative ownership. Again, if they're a PITA, we move on.
   
   
7. When the work is (finally) fantastic, our publishing proposal will include any number of the following:

• Engage artists to do cover art and other art (they like to publish their hard work too; it’s a win-win). Both writer and artist have to agree to the pairing before we do anything.
• Print it, publish it, promote it, and pay the writer (now an Author!) based on sales, just like any publisher would.
• Produce and distribute, as an e-book, as broadly as possible.
• Set up a fan site where we will publish parts of the novel, at a time, and work hard to generate interest for the work.
• Engage critics (other than us) to do reviews of the works and let readers do ratings of the stuff they (dis)like, especially on social media sites.
• Set up a blog area for the author to talk with fans about the creative process and the story – whatever (if the author is so inclined). Fans get to talk about the work here, all to generate interest. The book will list Criticol as the publisher and our website, no different than any other publisher.

The writer always maintains the copyright to the work.

After that, we hope the author will write lots of books and that we'll be their publishing partner long term. Well, for the fantastic stuff anyway. 

Second question. Yes. We are a publisher. See above.

Q: I have an idea for a story, do you want to hear it?
A: Yes.  After you write the novel.  We’ll read the novel.  If you haven't written the book to get the idea off the ground, why do you expect a publisher to care? Get at it, we're (all) waiting.  If you're stuck, post to the blog and ask for help.  We can point you to some great resources - or our writers can share what they do when they're stuck.

Q: I prefer to write short fiction, do you want to see it?
A: Sure, why not. Impress us and we’ll do some of the stuff we do with novels, especially if you have enough short fiction to do a whole book. Hint.  If we get enough short fiction and art, maybe we'll do an anthology.  Those are cool.

Q: If you hate my novel what will you do?
A: You mean after laughing? Firstly, hate is a strong word. You probably meant "intense dislike" (we did). Secondly, we'll tell you why it isn't criticol and recommend things you can do to improve the story, your writing, or career choice (as applicable). We're not mean, but we are criticol. OK. We're a little mean. But, it's what you need - trust us. Can’t take it?  Go away, or write a better book. Or join a writers' group in your city. They’ll tell you too, though. Until you get better. Or quit.

Q: Do you really publish the novels you like?
A: Yes.  We publish in a number of ways.  Here online, ebooks, book books.

Q: What about novels from writers who are directly related to you like your family or Crititcol staff – even if those books are sub-par?
A: Yes. Want to apply for a job? Want to apply for family status? That’s just odd – try vanity publishing.

Q: Why do you show excerpts of novels that aren't very good?  They worked hard on their novel. You're mean.
A: So we get fewer bad submissions. And it drives visitors to the site, which creates a larger audience for the fantastic stuff we want to publish. And "You're mean" isn't a question. It's a statement. A factual one in this case.

Q: If I find your meanness too mean, will you take the comments down?
A: Sure. We like good-natured meanness. While we are irreverent, we come by it honestly. And we really are trying to help. But, if we cross the line or you don’t like it, we’ll take it down. We might even issue a poorly written apology for you to make fun of.

Q: There are lots of sites out there that publish people’s works. Why choose yours?
A: Because we don’t publish crappy work, so (y)our readers know we care about them and what they read. Seriously, read a few “free” novels published out there. Then tell us you didn't make fun at all. If you’re a member of our families, or work here, we’ll publish you, and you’ll never know if you earned it. The rest of you will know we love your work. And, we worked our butts off at our expense to make it better and get it out there. Fantastic stories motivate us.